Weddings

We’ve been planning our wedding for just over a year now, and we’ve only got 10 months to do until we tie the knot! We’ve already got the venue, catering, decor, photographer and my dress and shoes sorted. We’ve got a bit of DIY to do but it shouldn’t take too long, (we’re even making our own rings with a goldsmith 💍💕).  When people ask me how wedding planning is going, I usually say “We’ve pretty much just got to sort the flowers”. Turns out, there’s a lot more we need to think about.

We’re going to be doing a bit of traveling later this year, so the aim is to get as much planning for the wedding done as we can. We’ll be back at Christmas (I’ll be arriving back in England the day before Christmas eve!), then we’ll be heading to Morocco for my hen shortly afterwards. Before we know it, it’s going to be my birthday in March and then we’re going to be getting hitched in April. If we get everything sorted now, then we can truly relax when it comes to spring next year.

Here’s some things still left on my list to sort out for our wedding next year:

The honeymoon

You’re probably so caught up in planning your wedding, you’ve not booked anything for your honeymoon. Travel is so important to us, and we always said that we wanted to spend more money on an epic trip, than spending lots of money on one day. We’ve had so many idea, from visiting Everest through to backpacking around South East Asia. It’s so difficult to decide because there’s so many places we want to go.

One things for sure, it’ll be something once in a lifetime. But we’ve really go to get a wriggle on, because flights are getting more and more expensive by the day.

My gals giving me confidence to jump off big rocks 👊🏼♥ #GRLPWR

A post shared by E L L I E ⋆ B U L L E N (@elsas_wholesomelife) on Jul 21, 2017 at 4:19am PDT

When we booked my hen do in Marrakech, Morocco last month, I stayed up all night waiting for the flights to be released so I could get the cheapest tickets. They’ve now gone up £300 since I booked them (when you’re booking 13 return flight, it adds up!). So booking our honeymoon is right at the top of our to-do list.

We’re not restricted when we go because we don’t have to stick within half-term or the summer holidays, but we do want to go directly after we get married. We’ve been advised to have at least 1 day to recover from the wedding, and then to hit Gatwick airport!

Thank you gifts

You spend so much time worrying about if your hairs going to look okay on the day, if people are going to like the food, and hoping it’s not going to rain. Don’t forget to put some thought into what you’ll be buying for those who helped you plan your wedding. They’re probably stick of hearing about you and your wedding and they’re probably a few squid down shelling out for things like the hen/stag do.

Traditionally, the bride and groom buy gifts for the maid of honour, the best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearer(s), mother of the bride and father of the bride. In modern times gifts have been extended to mother of the groom, father of the groom, ushers and wedding planners – this is completely up to you. Gift to anybody that you feel has really supported you plan your wedding.

You could just get a bouquet of flowers to say thank you, but if I’m honest, I feel like you can take this opportunity to give something so much more. Gifting something that your loved ones can keep, is a nice way for them to remember their day. Sacet offer lots of beautifully sparkly gifts that are perfect for bridesmaids, mothers and flower girls, which makes my life 100 times easier.

Marque small hook chain bracelet in sterling silver from £45 available here.

They have a showroom in London but for country bumpkins like me, it’s quite far to travel. Luckily they do home trials. Just select up to 3 designs to try at home for 5 days and they’ll ship them to you, including free returns. Their jewellery is exclusively luxurious, inclusively priced. All products  are ethically and consciously crafted, support communities, the planet and crafts people.

Emergency bag

It’s the big day, and you probably think you’ve got everything sorted. You feel good and you look great! Remember, your wedding day is going to be long. Mascara will probably run, you might get a headache and those new shoes could end up running. These things could all end up negatively impacting your day.

The last thing you want to be doing is running around trying to find an ibuprofen or a plaster. Nip it in the bud with an emergency bag that you can keep in the bathroom or somewhere nearby.

Things you can include are products such as:

• Deodorant
• Lip balm
• Floss
• Pain killers
• Perfume

We’re also preparing care packages for our guests, so that if they need deodorant or pain killers throughout the day, then they’ll have everything they need. Everybody feeling happy and comfortable is really important to us, and with a bit of forward planning it’s easy to do.

Many things cause anxiety when you are planning your wedding, from the venue, to the cake, and everything else in between! And while this is meant to be the happiest day of your life, sometimes brides can get really stressed on the run up to the big day. I’m yet to turn into a complete bridezilla and have a melt down… but I can completely see why people freak out during the planning stage. It’s an expensive time and you constantly feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions.

It’s okay to feel a little anxious, it’s a big deal! I struggle with chronic anxiety which pretty much rules my life. I don’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or drink caffeine, all mostly because of anxiety. I think perhaps the reason I’ve felt so zen throughout this experience is a) I’ve prepared myself b) the wedding is 11 months away. Either way, this post outlines some tips on how to combat anxiety and stay cool when planning your wedding.

Break it down

Any problem needs to be broken down into sections so it can be manageable; this is a fact of life. If you can sort everything out into specific sections based on the urgency of the task, from the bridalwear, to the bookings, and so on, this is going to reduce a lot of anxiety. Of course, a lot of people who have the money hire a professional to do all this, but no doubt wedding stress is partly to do with money…

Here’s a snippet of things I need to think about/buy from my wedding to-do planner. I use little Emojis depending on how far along the process I am (of course I do, any excuse to use an Emoji). For example ✅ means I don’t have to worry anymore, 💸 means I just have to pay the remaining balance, 🔶 means in discussion with vendors, 🛑 means I haven’t even CONSIDERED this yet! Hopefully his gives you a head start…

• Venue
• Notice of Marriage
• Shoes
• Stationery
• Wedding decor
• Headdress/veil
• Wedding cake
• Hair and beauty
• Groom’s outfit
• Wedding rings
• Flowers
• Honeymoon
• Videographer
• Thank you gifts
• Table Service
• Crockery
• Welcome drinks
• Travel
• Food
• Honeymoon suite
• Stag do
• Chair hire
• Hen party
• Registered Building Marriage
• Dress
• Accommodation
• Photographer
• Glasses (tumbler, champagne and wine)
• Attendants’ outfits
• Favours
• Confetti
• Table hire
• Champagne

Set a budget

Your budget needs to be set in stone before you do anything. There’s no point in thinking about your big day, and adding all the bells and whistles, to find out you can’t afford them- you will only be disappointed. Instead, think about your wedding priorities, and decide between you and your partner if you really want them.

Something like cake may seem insignificant if you both don’t eat it, or do you even want a wedding party? Do you want it to be a simple ceremony? By nailing down exactly what you want out of your big day gives you the opportunity to budget more effectively.

We ended up changing our budget quite a few times  because we had to get real about how much this stuff cost. I’m constantly torn between, “you only get married once!” and “it’s just one day!”.

Practice being calm

Stress is something that builds up over time, and it gets to the point where you can’t handle it. So, by practising being calm, you will be able to cope with the pressures that come your way. You can practice breathing exercises like box breathing, or you can learn to relax better, or just take time away from the wedding planning.

Do whatever works for you, it’s important to practice the art of being calm.

Personally, treating myself to a massage and having lunch with my best friend usually does the trick. We then talk about how incredible the hen do is going to be, and then hooray, the wedding!! It’s an exciting time – you shouldn’t feel like the stress is taking over your life.

Keep your perspective

If you’re spending a lot of time stressing out about big and little problems, you need to bring it back to the reasons why you’re doing this. Ultimately, it is you and your partner, and the wedding ceremony is only going to be one day. A lot of couples break up during wedding planning (crazy, I know! I feel like it’s only bought me and S closer together). But hey, if anxiety is something that gets the better of you and your partner, it’s important to go back to the basics and remember why you are doing this in the first place.

There’s been a few times, especially at the beginning stage of planning (when we were just finding out how much everything cost), we just wished we eloped. We couldn’t do that to our families though, it means so much to them to be a part of our big day. Now the majority of the wedding is planned, we can relax a little and wouldn’t have it any other way, and we’re SO excited about splashing out on some luxuries.

Anxiety is more than amplified when planning your big day. It is important for you to understand how you react to stress, but also control the circumstances to minimise this stress. Of course, when it comes to wedding planning, there are things out of your control, and if this is the root of your anxieties, then it’s time to let this go. At the end of the day, it is just a day, so don’t stress out – enjoy it!

There are two types of event that require some of the most intense and diligent planning known to man. One is a military operation. The other is a wedding. When it comes to our wedding, we find almost every cliche about the event to be true. You will have a sleepless night prior, and butterflies in your stomach when you see your partner on the aisle. You’ll also likely have to make small talk with relatives you didn’t even know were part of your family. 

This all sounds very intense, and I’m pretty sure it is. With just 346 days until me and my fiancée tie the knot, some of my lovely friends have given me some advice to ensure we have the best day of our lives! I’ve decided to pop it into my post to remind me when it gets closer to the date we say ‘I do’, and hopefully to help any other fellow Brides2B who are walking down the aisle soon. 

Catch up on your beauty sleep

You need to sleep enough before the big day. Not only will this gift you energy for the intense duties ahead, but will help you enjoy them more profoundly. However, it’s likely the event will make you feel so nervous and excited the night before that you find it hard to sleep. It’s recommend resting your head at least 12 hours before you sleep. Then, you have at least a few hours of restlessness in bed to take care of before you naturally sleep a full amount of time. If having trouble, consider taking a few herbal sleeping tablets to help your mind and body rest naturally.

Give your body the fuel it needs

It’s important to eat a full meal in the morning. A simple and relatively light but nutritious bowl of oatmeal and a banana can help, because this is both healthy and will stop you from feeling very sluggish. This way you will also have room for the specialist catering. In an effort to look slim in a dress, many women will neglect to eat in the morning. This is not wise (why would deprive yourself of food?!), as you can feel faint on your wedding day without the correct nutrition. At the very least be sure to hydrate yourself effectively, especially on the warmer days.

Plan your bathroom breaks (yes, seriously!)

You need to plan your bathroom breaks well. Designate a close friend as your personal bathroom helper, and they should be able to help you out of the dress when it comes time. It sounds silly but depending on your dress, going to the bathroom can be a bit of a polava. Not to mention, you’ll probably want to touch up your make up, and you’ll obviously get bombarded with people talking to your in the bathroom. Ensure you go before the entire service begins, as there’s probably nothing worse than listening to your vows while in desperate need.

Leave it up to the professionals!

It’s important to ensure that you hire professional services. From wedding photographers to the caterers, the best services will provide their goods but otherwise stay invisible from proceedings. Ensure they are accommodated for and they will give you a world class service in kind. A few kind words and a small conversation with each of them before you begin proceedings can be a great way to both dialogue your wishes, and also keep the atmosphere of the wedding jovial for you both to experience.

Weddings can be stressful, worrisome and intensely choreographed. However, they can also be wonderful, emotionally liberating, and one of the best days of your life. With these tips in mind, the positive will massively outweigh the negative. Good luck, and have a wonderful wedding day!