It’s fair to say that most of us don’t see arguments with our significant other as a good thing. While a good row can help clear the end, it’s also a pretty unpleasant experience to disagree with the person most important to you in the world. Yet the disagreements happen. They’re not a bad omen, either – arguing genuinely is healthy and helps you reset the boundaries of a relationship. It’s far better to have a big row than descend into spiteful, passive-aggressive comments aimed at one another!
There are many areas that can cause a flare-up in a relationship, but going through home renovations is right near the top of the list. It’s only natural, really. The process of a renovation is unsettling; part of your home has to become incredibly disorganised in an effort to make it wonderful. When you’re unsettled, you’re tetchy – multiply that with general relationship dynamics and soon, tempers are likely to flare.
So is it possible to do what the title suggested and make a home renovation fun? Sure – but you both have to agree to play by the rules. We’ve been doing a bit of decorating recently (our new office post is coming soon!). Luckily my fiancé completely trusts my style and taste, but that doesn’t mean I’m not considerate, because it’s a big change for both of us… He’s how to handle being in a relationship and being decorating crazy, like me!
What To Do If… You Have Different Tastes
He likes neutrals. He loves cream, taupe, wants to turn your home into a sepia wonderland. You want colour. You want it exploding from every surface, every piece of artwork, loud and proud. The two… well, they’re going to struggle to mesh, aren’t they?
The Solution: Each writes down three things you’re not going to tolerate. He can veto your plans for an orange wall and you can share how you’d feel washed-out if the room is nothing but neutrals – or whatever suits your tastes. When it’s clear when the red lines are, you can find something that fits you both without going into the “absolute worst” territory for one another.
What To Do If… One Of You Is More Enthusiastic Than The Other (Always ME!)
Let’s say you’re the one with the passion for home renovation, design, and decor. Your idea of a fun afternoon is throwing yourself into organisational tips, browsing Bryson Products Ltd, and comparing colour charts against one another. His idea of a fun afternoon is… anything but that.
The Solution: The one with the passion needs to calm it down. Don’t make every conversation about home renovation; give plenty of time off and definitely take a break between projects. For the resistant one, acknowledge that it’s a home for both of you and that the decoration will help when it comes to selling your home, so contribute – it’ll make it go faster if you do!
What To Do If… You Have Different Skill Sets
You can knock down a wall, rebuild, repaint and have it good to go in an afternoon (well, close enough). He can… well he can sort of splash paint on a wall in the right place, though it’s going to look patchy. He gets frustrated; you get frustrated.
The Solution: Assign tasks based on skill. If one of you is more DIY savvy, then acknowledge that person should be taking on the bulk of the tasks. I’m not very good at putting up shelves or putting together furniture, but I make S plenty of coffee, masking tape the plugs and clean.