The end of summer 2014 I found myself young, free and single. Since coming out of a relationship I embraced my freedom; I dedicated more time to my friends, family, training for the half marathon and improving my blog.
I clambered back onto the horse and started dating again a couple months ago. Not one for meeting someone slurring in a club, coupled with being curious to see what all the fuss was about I downloaded Tinder and Plenty of Fish. I must confess, I don’t take it too seriously – does anyone? Here’s my experience thus far..
Tinder
The three types of men you commonly come across on Tinder:
1. The ‘clearly confused’ that don’t understand the concept of Tinder and don’t have a profile picture.
2. The ‘travelled’ that have a picture of them cuddling a tiger in somewhere like exotic Thailand.
3. The asshole who’s picture is of them and their partner (yes, I’ve even seen wedding shots).
Working in an office full of men, who fraped me given any opportunity. I’m familiar with users sex being changed on Facebook, vice versa, is a common attack. With Tinders algorithms using Facebook profile information, I’m somewhat surprised I don’t come across many fraped women in my search for men.
Typical messages received on Tinder so far (Yes, I’m serious):
1. “I guess this is where we swap numbers and I send you pictures of my junk?”
2. “Hey, what are you doing on here?” – Yes, I’ve matched with a bunch of my friends.
Plenty of Fish
The three types of men you commonly come across on Plenty of Fish:
1. The ‘serial messengers’ copy and paste the message so many times, you receive the same one 3-4 times.
2. The ‘long-haul’ players that you’ve seen on POF years ago from the last time you were single, just wow!
3. The asshole who you actually know. Notably, you know for a fact they have a wife or girlfriend.
The biggest problem with POF is unlike Tinder, anyone can message you unless you set up preferences. That means you attract all manner of Cretans.
Once ruling out the above, you’re then left with the the barely-single and desperate for comfort, the guy with with more kids than hours in the day, and the ‘men’ on a mission for just one thing. Or worse – all those things rolled into one. No, thanks!
The best messages received on Plenty of Fish so far (again, I’m deadly serious):
1. “I feel like I’d been walking around Tescos, until I saw you – now I feel like I’m in Harrods.”
2. “How much do you charge?”
So, What’s the verdict?
Embrace being single, switch off your phone, pour a glass of wine and run a steaming hot bath. Most of all, be thankful you don’t have to answer to anyone. However, if you decide to go ahead with these apps anyway, be warned – if something seems too good to be true, he probably is.