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Should You Tell Your Man When He’s Doing Your Head In?

People always ask me what it’s like working from home with my boyfriend. Honestly? It’s great. We’re so lucky that we barely ever argue, and we never get under each others feet. We have plenty of room in the house to have our own space, and sometimes I wonder off to a coffee shop if I feel I need a change of scenery.

Every couple has little things that grate on them; things like leaving the toilet seat up or consistently missing the washing bin? Guilty! I don’t know how S puts up with me.. That said, there are a few things I’ve learnt after working and living with my other half – I’m pretty sure this means I’m growing up 😫

Should You Tell Your Man When He's Doing Your Head In? | UK Lifestyle Blog

Pick Your Battles

It’s important that you pick your battles. This means choosing the issue that is causing you the most distress and calming address that first. Don’t bring up that time 10 years ago, when they said your bum looked big in that dress if you are trying to let you watch your choice on TV. Keep it relevant and distinct from any other issues or hurts you may be harbouring.

If it is about his appearance, broach it gently by checking out some fashion websites or grooming tips on BeardBro. Remember no one wants to be made to feel awful about themselves. So so barraging them with everything that they have ever done wrong isn’t going to get you the result that you want.

Those In Glass Houses

The next thing to consider when dealing with this issue is to ask are you blameless yourself? As they say, ‘people that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.’ For one, it can make it really easy to escalate it into a ‘tit for tat’ fight that is not constructive at all. Even if this doesn’t happen, you are going to look pretty hypocritical if you are asking them to be better with money, but you aren’t either. Especially if have five bags of new clothes that you can’t afford, tucked into your wardrobe upstairs!

Pick Your Time

Did you know that men also have a hormonal cycle? But theirs isn’t monthly, it’s actually daily. Their testosterone is highest in the morning making them full of energy and ready to get on with the day. Its falls through the days, so it’s at a medium level by lunch time and at its lowest in the evening. It’s probably not the best idea to ask him to change his ways when his testosterone is high as you are much more likely to get into an argument then.

Try after 4 pm when he may well be a bit more receptive. Remember though that exercise can amp that testosterone back up so give the discussion a miss if he’s fresh back from the gym.

How To Say It

How you ask you, partner, to change a behaviour can have a massive effect on their reaction and their willingness to meet you halfway. Unfortunately, us women are often accused of nagging if we ask the guys to do anything more than once. But making a special effort to ask them as an equal, and giving them the space to complete the task can help in this sort of situation.

2018-01-08T03:33:43+00:00 October 12, 2016|Health|

Things to do at the weekend with your BFFs!

Sometimes all you need is to be with your friends and do something fun. There’s something about the closest people in your life that can make you forget all about daily stresses and problems. They know how to put a smile on your face. It’s so important to schedule in time with your close friends.

Your routine can take over of work, sleep and repeat that time can just slip away from you. I’ve felt like this a lot recently, which is one of the main reasons I went self employed. So I thought I would share with you some fun things to do with your BFFs. 

Things to do at the weekend with your BFFs! | UK Lifestyle Blog

Heading away for the weekend

If you have a whole weekend free then why not consider heading off somewhere and exploring a new place. You can get some great last minute deals online. You could consider staying in this country or venturing off on a city break somewhere. Places like Paris or Barcelona are always quite popular. This gives you the whole weekend to connect and catch up with everyone. I’m sure it will offer a lot of laughs along the way as well.

Paint balling

Something a little different could be to organise a paint balling afternoon. This might be great for just the boys, but I think girls can get a lot of fun out of it as well. If you are a mixed group then why not let the girls take on the boys. There are plenty of paintball reviews that you can read before booking anything. I’m sure everyone will have a great time.

A spa afternoon

The last suggestion could be a relaxing afternoon in a spa. A chance for you and your friends to unwind and enjoy one another’s company while having your nails done. You could even consider having a massage or facial. Some spas offer packages which can be great value for money. You could even add on a two course meal or an afternoon tea in some places.

Things to do at the weekend with your BFFs! | UK Lifestyle Blog

A night out on the town

There’s nothing quite like getting your best clothes on and heading out for a night on the town with your best friends. You can have a meal and drinks and make a whole evening of it. You could even finish off dancing the night away. I think a good night will always make for incredible memories. I’m avoiding booze at the moment, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun!! 

A day at the races

If you like getting dressed up then why not consider a day at the races. You don’t have to be big on gambling to enjoy the day. It can be just as much fun to enjoy the atmosphere and drink a few glasses of champagne. Everyone makes a real effort to look great for a day at the races. You might want to consider ladies day at some race courses where the fashion is something worth seeing.

I hope these ideas inspire you to book a date with your friends as soon as possible.

2018-01-08T03:33:57+00:00 May 11, 2016|Health|

5 Things I Wish I Listened to After a Break Up

If you’re going through a breakup or you’ve recently decided to get divorced, you may be experiencing a mixture of emotions. It’s understandable to feel anxious and scared, but help is at hand.

Take these tips to help eliminate stress and remind you, it isn’t the end of the world – I just wish I listened to people when they told me this in the past – everything is going to be okay!

5 Things I Wish I Listened to After a Break Up | UK Lifestyle Blog

Clarify the situation in your mind

In the run-up to a break up, there can be a lot of confusion and crossed wires. Are you breaking up for good? Is it a hiatus? Is it possible to save the marriage? Do you still love each other? Go through all these questions and reach a point where you have a clear perception of what has happened and what will happen in the future.

If you’ve decided that you are getting divorced or break up, it’s time to start coming to terms with your decision. It’s healthy to reflect on what went wrong, but don’t dwell on things that make you feel anxious or upset at this time. Once you feel a little stronger, you can start to focus on why things went wrong and why your relationship didn’t work.

Be honest

If you have a support network in place, use it. Be as open and honest with the people close to you as you can. If they ask you if you’re coping, or you’re feeling down, don’t lie to them. It’s perfectly understandable to be feeling lost, lonely and confused. Open up to them and share your worries and fears. Don’t be afraid to rant and rave if it makes you feel better. It’s good to release some emotion from time to time.

If you don’t have close friends or family you can talk to, or you’d rather chat to somebody you don’t know, see your GP. If you’re struggling to manage your emotions or you feel sad or anxious all the time, they will be able to help. Doctors often recommend cognitive behavioural therapy for people going through tough times.

At this stage, when you feel vulnerable, it’s essential to focus your energies on rebuilding and moving forward. Let people in who increase your confidence and offer support, reassurance and love. If you have family members or friends who make you questions your decisions or make you feel guilty or stupid, steer clear of them.

Seek professional advice

Divorce is not just an emotional upheaval. It also has implications for your finances, especially if you have joint assets. Seek professional help from solicitors with experience in family law, such as Bannister Preston. Try to maintain contact with your ex-partner. Communicate regularly and try to be amicable. The best possible outcome is a fair split.

However, it is not always easy to achieve this goal. If the relationship has soured completely, let your legal team speak for you. They will work to reach a settlement, which suits both parties. If you’re not happy with a proposal from the other side, you don’t have to take it. Negotiation is key. Make sure you choose your counsel wisely and don’t feel pressured to give in.

If you have assets, such as property or a business, make sure you do some research. It’s important that you are aware of the facts and figures to ensure that you get a fair settlement. Keep in touch with your legal team throughout the process and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Give yourself time

Many people rush around trying to get back to normal as quickly as possible following a divorce. If you feel better when you’re busy, that’s fine. But don’t think that you need to bounce back and feel fine immediately. It’s normal to feel blue and for this feeling to last a long time. If you need it, take time out. Reflect on what’s happened and rationalise and digest the situation. Talk to friends and family or arrange to go to counselling. Sometimes, it can be reassuring to chat to people in a similar situation. If you don’t have friends who are divorced, online forums are a good place to meet others in the same boat.

Think about moving forward

When you feel more confident and you have come through the other side, start thinking about your future. Set yourself goals and try and be positive. Don’t dwell on split and think of it as a failure. Think about it as a chance for change and the start of a new chapter. Just because one relationship hasn’t worked out, it doesn’t mean that you’ll never be happy again. Don’t rush into dating but equally, don’t feel guilty if you do meet someone you like.

There will always be hard days to overcome, but maintaining a positive mindset will help you to move forward. Take the positives out of your previous relationship and find effective ways of dealing with the negative aspects.

Use your time constructively. In the past, as part of a duo, you may have let hobbies, interests or friendships slide. Now is the time to renew your passions and devote some quality time to friends and family. Have fun, learn more and try new things. Invest some time in new friendships and consider doing things you couldn’t do previously. Arrange weekends away, go travelling for a few weeks or treat your self an an online shopping spree (treat yourself to a haul from a wholesale clothing supplier, thank me later on the savings you’ll make!). Join a local sports team or sign up for a night class. Keep special friends and family members close. On days when you feel down or lost, they will always be there at the other end of the phone.

Break ups can be harrowing. There are bound to be days when it feels like the world is falling apart. If you are struggling, don’t suffer in silence. Take advantage of the support and love your friends and family offer. Seek professional advice and guidance to help you cope with practical issues and get your finances in order. Focus on yourself and try to be as positive as possible.

2018-05-10T21:51:17+00:00 March 21, 2016|Health|
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