Many things cause anxiety when you are planning your wedding, from the venue, to the cake, and everything else in between! And while this is meant to be the happiest day of your life, sometimes brides can get really stressed on the run up to the big day. I’m yet to turn into a complete bridezilla and have a melt down… but I can completely see why people freak out during the planning stage. It’s an expensive time and you constantly feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions.
It’s okay to feel a little anxious, it’s a big deal! I struggle with chronic anxiety which pretty much rules my life. I don’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or drink caffeine, all mostly because of anxiety. I think perhaps the reason I’ve felt so zen throughout this experience is a) I’ve prepared myself b) the wedding is 11 months away. Either way, this post outlines some tips on how to combat anxiety and stay cool when planning your wedding.
Break it down
Any problem needs to be broken down into sections so it can be manageable; this is a fact of life. If you can sort everything out into specific sections based on the urgency of the task, from the bridalwear, to the bookings, and so on, this is going to reduce a lot of anxiety. Of course, a lot of people who have the money hire a professional to do all this, but no doubt wedding stress is partly to do with money…
Here’s a snippet of things I need to think about/buy from my wedding to-do planner. I use little Emojis depending on how far along the process I am (of course I do, any excuse to use an Emoji). For example ✅ means I don’t have to worry anymore, 💸 means I just have to pay the remaining balance, 🔶 means in discussion with vendors, 🛑 means I haven’t even CONSIDERED this yet! Hopefully his gives you a head start…
- Notice of Marriage
- Wedding decor
- Wedding cake
- Hair and beauty
- Groom’s outfit
- Wedding rings
- Thank you gifts
- Table Service
- Welcome drinks
- Honeymoon suite
- Stag do
- Chair hire
- Hen party
- Registered Building Marriage
- Glasses (tumbler, champagne and wine)
- Attendants’ outfits
- Table hire
Set a budget
Your budget needs to be set in stone before you do anything. There’s no point in thinking about your big day, and adding all the bells and whistles, to find out you can’t afford them- you will only be disappointed. Instead, think about your wedding priorities, and decide between you and your partner if you really want them.
Something like cake may seem insignificant if you both don’t eat it, or do you even want a wedding party? Do you want it to be a simple ceremony? By nailing down exactly what you want out of your big day gives you the opportunity to budget more effectively.
We ended up changing our budget quite a few times because we had to get real about how much this stuff cost. I’m constantly torn between, “you only get married once!” and “it’s just one day!”.
Practice being calm
Stress is something that builds up over time, and it gets to the point where you can’t handle it. So, by practising being calm, you will be able to cope with the pressures that come your way. You can practice breathing exercises like box breathing, or you can learn to relax better, or just take time away from the wedding planning.
Do whatever works for you, it’s important to practice the art of being calm.
Personally, treating myself to a massage and having lunch with my best friend usually does the trick. We then talk about how incredible the hen do is going to be, and then hooray, the wedding!! It’s an exciting time – you shouldn’t feel like the stress is taking over your life.
Keep your perspective
If you’re spending a lot of time stressing out about big and little problems, you need to bring it back to the reasons why you’re doing this. Ultimately, it is you and your partner, and the wedding ceremony is only going to be one day. A lot of couples break up during wedding planning (crazy, I know! I feel like it’s only bought me and S closer together). But hey, if anxiety is something that gets the better of you and your partner, it’s important to go back to the basics and remember why you are doing this in the first place.
There’s been a few times, especially at the beginning stage of planning (when we were just finding out how much everything cost), we just wished we eloped. We couldn’t do that to our families though, it means so much to them to be a part of our big day. Now the majority of the wedding is planned, we can relax a little and wouldn’t have it any other way, and we’re SO excited about splashing out on some luxuries.
Anxiety is more than amplified when planning your big day. It is important for you to understand how you react to stress, but also control the circumstances to minimise this stress. Of course, when it comes to wedding planning, there are things out of your control, and if this is the root of your anxieties, then it’s time to let this go. At the end of the day, it is just a day, so don’t stress out – enjoy it!